Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
