All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
