I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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