i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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