I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
