Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
