the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They took my balls.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
