Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
