im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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