I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
