if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
