They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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