marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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