So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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