Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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