is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
