hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The air taste purple.
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