see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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