it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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