I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
