my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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