On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
