Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
