Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
