Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
