glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize