Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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