sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
