Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
