just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize