you have to choose: penises or morals?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
