so that wasnt chicken after all
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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