All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
