Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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