I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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