I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize