i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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