Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize