Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
