is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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