yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
