May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mom said you looked used
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
