she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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