Pappa wants mamma naked
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
