He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
