I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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