do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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