ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
