it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
