bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize