I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
