There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think people are normalizing furries
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
