we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize