you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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