i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
