Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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