i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
