When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
