we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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