i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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