she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
