i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize