So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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